
In honor of my wife’s birthday, her family decided to take her out to dinner. It was a Sunday night, which is usually a slow time in the restaurant industry. Our first choice (RiRa) was closed, so we opted for Hollywood Bar and Grill on the North side. My wife and I had been there before, and it was average. Not great, not horrible, just OK. With the clan in tow, we gave it another shot.
We sat in the bar, as we always do, for two reasons. One, four out of five people in the group are stinky smokers relegated to our smoky ghetto. Two, the bar has TV’s, and the NCAA Tournament was on. (I know, I know, wife’s birthday and I was watching basketball. So was she.)
As we entered the bar, we noticed the decor. Hollywood is a movie themed restaurant. There are a few movie posters around, as well as an Elvis head behind the bar. There is also a Charlie McCarthy behind the bar. (Go ask your parents.) The menu has a film theme as well, with items such as the Indiana Jones, The Matrix, and The Terminator. What do these have to do with the food? Nothing I can tell, since two days later I can’t connect any of the names to their respective foods. There were ample TV’s, all tuned to basketball. (Sports or news are the only acceptable destinations for restaurant televisions, unless someone has asked specifically for something else. If the server is paying attention to American Idol, they’re not paying attention to you. Trust me – I’ve done it.)
When our server brought our drinks, she also brought a pitcher of iced tea and a carafe of coffee and set them on the table. It was a nice touch – unfortunately, there was no ice included. Mmm – room temperature tea, my favorite! We ordered – I got the chicken livers, with mashed potatoes and mac-n-cheese; my wife got a chicken sandwich, no bun, with a baked potato. Grandma got a chef salad with blue cheese dressing. My wife and I also opted for the salad bar (for $4.49 extra).
When we went to the salad bar, we were a bit – well, is underwhelmed a word, because it sure describes the salad bar. Brown, old mushrooms; lettuce with browned edges; a vegetable soup-type substance that could have been used to grout tile. Dressing choices were standard – ranch, blue cheese, 1000, Italian, honey mustard. It was edible (except for the mushrooms), but not good, and not worth the price.
When our food finally arrived (30 minutes after we ordered), we were similarly underwhelmed. Grandma’s salad had the wrong dressing, but she liked it. My wife’s chicken breast was dry and bland. My chicken livers were good, but they were served on a piece of lettuce that had been baked by sitting under a heat lamp for far too long. My mashed potatoes were dry and lumpy. My mac and cheese was saucy, with an off-putting sweetness. For dessert, we ordered a chocolate cake, which I quite enjoyed.
Our server was very personable, with a dry sense of humor. Hollywood has a movie ticket perk – if you spend $12.50, you get a free pass to the North Side Showplace Cinema. We were misinformed that our beverages counted towards that total. After much consternation, we were told that we were entitled to tickets – but Grandma, whose food total was $11.60 before tax, was not unless she ordered something else. She opted to add cheese to her salad that had been eaten a half-hour before. A bit off-putting – but the manager came to our table and actually gave her the dollar back, saying that we had been misinformed. It was a very welcome gesture, and saved us from an embarrassing scene. (Don’t make Grandma angry.)
Overall, it was a pretty awful experience. I can’t say that I will ever go back, nor will I recommend it to anyone with taste buds. Unfortunately, when I ask my wife what she wants for dinner, she often replies “SALAD BAR!”, so if it is up to her, I might be forced to return.
The crowning touch to the entire evening was a sign on the wall in the view of the entire restaurant that says, “If you forget to clock in, you will not be paid. Managers are no longer allowed to fix time, per Paul.” I am not sure who Paul is, or why he thinks that labor laws do not apply to him. However, if most experiences at Hollywood are like ours, I don’t think their employees will have to worry about getting paid much longer.
Viq Thomasson lives in Evansville with his wife and beagle. He is a veteran of the restaurant industry and a Chicago cubs fan. Neither of those contributes to his surly attitude.